A Young Nun Studying

Considering Ordination Part 2

People seem to have a vast array of projections about monks and nuns. For Westerners these are largely carry-overs from their image of Christian monastics and other clergy. We also seem to take references from Hollywood's vision of peaceful Zen monasteries or even the Shaolin monks in our projection of what monasticism means. This is not negative, per se; it is just how the conceptual mind works. We take bits and pieces from our experience and imagination and we solidify them into a conceptual projection. The tension comes in when we try to fit mundane appearances into the shape of our projections-- the way things are vs. the way things should be.

Often as not monks and nuns in the West are isolated as the single ordained person in a community of lay people. For the monastic himself or herself, a great deal of guidance can be taken from the Vinaya (the monastic code) as per what is appropriate. Traditionally, lay people do not study the Vinaya, and it certainly is not expected for lay people to have a comprehensive understanding of the monastic vows and rituals. In fact, too much awareness of these things can lead lay people to criticize the ordained for not behaving 'correctly'. On the other hand, difficulties arise when lay people have no recompense other than popular culture and Christianity in forming their understanding of Buddhist monks and nuns. It is neither comfortable nor desirable for Westerners to act Asian in a desire to be 'correct' as monastics. This may work if the Western monk or nun is in training in Asia, but in the West it does not lead to a style of monasticism feasible for Westerners. We need to discern what is Vinaya, and what is merely a reflection of its host culture. I think much can learned from Christian monasticism, but we also need to be aware of the differences between our two traditions. For example, most Christian monks and nuns are trained prior to taking lifelong ordination. In the Buddhist tradition ordination is often the very first step in training. This leads to difficulties when one gets ordained by a travelling lama. Who trains the new monastic? It is also confusing for some lay people who expect that the ordained person has been ordained on the basis of qualifications.

I think these issues are very much worthy of consideration, especially to prospective monastics. The Buddha taught that there is no permanent, truly established identity. Thus, we need have mindfulness when it comes to pursuing a 'monastic identity'. Since my last post I have given this a great deal of thought. Why do people desire so deeply to be ordained? Why do they later disrobe? I think it sometimes has to do with grasping after identity. Identity grasping, after all, is the linchpin of samsara. Learning to identify and deconstruct identity grasping is an extremely significant part of the Buddhist path.

How, then, should we approach monasticism? I think we must see it as a practice, and we must view monastics as people doing a special kind of practice. The Vinaya itself is not merely a set of rules for the ordained; it is a description of the practice of monasticism. We don't choose to abandon sexual conduct etc. because we aren't interested in it. We abandon it because we see it as harmful. Why is it harmful? Because it increases desire and thus binds us more tightly to cyclic existence. All of the monastic vows have to do with abandoning actions harmful to oneself and others as well as creating a situation were mental virtues may naturally increase. So instead of ordination because 'this is who I want to be', I suggest ordination because 'this is how I want to practice in order to attain enlightenment'.

Tug of inner peace?

Consdering Ordination Part 1

From time to time I receive letters from people who are considering monastic ordination in the Buddhist tradition. At the moment there are two young women in my home town who are looking in that direction. With them in mind I'll offer some tips and thoughts.

Dear Friend,

Thank you for your letter. I am always glad to hear from people who are considering the monastic life. Ordination is a special way of life unlike other vocations in this world. Whether you ordain or not, there is great virtue in merely giving rise to the thought of doing so.

You may feel a big rush to take vows. Be wary of this feeling. Like marriage, vows are nothing to jump into without preparation. A life long comitment must be based on a solid and well informed foundation.

Please take time to carefully read this guide called Preparing for Ordination. Buddhist masters and experienced monastics have put this book together especially for Westerners who are consdering ordination. I think it is broadly aplicable to anyone who is interested in monasticism.

You may meet lamas in the Tibetan tradition who seem hesitant to ordain you. This is not arbitrary. They have see hundreds of people rush into ordination, full of devotion and ambition, only to disrobe to within a few years or months. Why do people disrobe? My own opinion is: People jump into ordination in a search for identity. When they discover that ordination has not bestowed upon them the identity they seek, they feel discouraged. Yes, ordination is full of blessings, but eventually you still have to confront the same old habitual tendencies which have governed you up till now.

If you are planning to live as a monastic in the West, or even in many places in Asia, take a long look at the situation for monastics. Many monks and nuns must work to support themselves. Some live on their own, others are accomodated in Dharma centers. It impresses me that people are able to maintain their ordination while working at normal jobs and paying rent and bills. I don't think the Buddha intended for monastics to work in this way, but from the depths of my heart I salute the people who manage to do so.

It takes many conducive conditions to maintain ordination. A new monastic needs the guidance of a senior monk or nun. Traditionally the novice will stay with his or her master for ten or twelve years. The novice emulates the master and seeks his or her guidance in all matters. These days it may be hard to find this sort of training. Even if you decide to live on your own as a monastic, consider spending at least a few months under the tutelage of experienced monks and nuns.

The Buddha had his monastic followers live in communties together. These monasteries became great factories of enlightenment where people could study, meditate together and support eachother on the path to enlightenment. We are very fortunate that such communites still exist today, even in Western countries. Please take a look at Gampo Abbey, Plum Village, Sravasti Abbey, and the F.P.M.T.. These are just a few of the organizations which provide support for monks and nuns.

More to come in Part 2.

India vs. Canada

I'm on holiday at my family's home in Canada. I'd like to look at some of the differences between my life here and back in India.

Weather: I'm so cold here in Canada! I can't stop saying 'a-choo' which is 'brrrrr' in Tibetan. It is only -15C at the moment, but could go down to -30C at any time. Luckily we have heated homes and cars. I've spend winters in Nepal, without heating that's cold indeed. In South India it never drops below 15C.

Accommodation: I'm staying in the house where I grew up. It is just the three of us most of the time. Once people go back to work, I will have plenty of time alone. Outside of my room at the nunnery, I am never alone. The nunnery isn't crowded so much as very full.

Noise: It is so quiet here. Of course one might expect a monastery to be quiet, but with hundreds of nuns under the age of 20, there is plenty background noise. While I was studying for my exams last month a teenage nun set up camp under my window. She was chanting very loudly, reading not only prayers, but also chanting her way through the subjects which would be coming on her own exams. She would even chant the spelling of English words. Luckily after a few days she found another place to study. I was close to looking for things to throw accidentally drop from my window.

Food: The nunnery food is fairly simple. One day lunch is rice and lentil soup, the next day bread and vegetables. Dinner is rice gruel or flour gruel. I cook for myself, but even then, my menu is similar day to day. But here in Canada... wow! So much variety. Just seeing a full fridge and pantry is such a trip. Since I've gotten home I keep eating nachos and cheese, my favorite meal. If I gain a lot of weight here, that's okay-- in traditional Tibetan culture fat is handsome, and loosing weight brings concern. Many times nuns have told me, "We would love to be as fat and white as you." I tell them, "Drink milk, eat a lot." Honestly though, I hate being white. Maybe if I drink more chocolate milk...

Shopping: We've done some boxing day shopping here. Apparently if the Canadian salespeople are on commission they can be just as pushy and deceptive as some of their Indian counterparts. I do like the fixed prices here. In India it is rude not to haggle a bit, but I just can't do it. Over time certain merchants have taken pity on me for my lack of haggling; they just tell me the real price instead of the 'foreigner price'.

Culture: The longer I stay in Canada, the weirder it seems to be a Buddhist nun. In India, shaved heads and robes are normal. Western culture is confusing. Do people really think that they will be happier with a new car or a slimmer body? It is always such a relief to go back to India. India is a special place for spiritual development. However, India does has a booming middle class with goals and interests similar to the West. A lot of the younger nuns follow Indian Idol. The monks go mad about soccer, just like in The Cup. But the goals which guide our lives are spiritual.

Friends: Since joining Facebook this year I have reconnected with many old friends and classmates in Canada. It will be fun to meet people I haven't seen in 10 or 15 years! Back in India I've been something of a hermit for the last 5 months or so. Everyone says the fourth year of shedra (college) is one of the hardest. I've had to study a lot, to the utter dissolution of my social life. But most of my friends are shedra students or alumni, so they understand and haven't totally given up on me.

Another year ends...

Here's a photos of all the nuns in shedra together with our teachers. We finished our classes on November 1st. Now we have a month to study and then it will be time for our comprehensive final exams.
If this blog has any avid readers (other than my mother, of course, "Hi Mom!") I apologize for not having posted for several months. I lost my Internet connection in July and can't be bothered to blog from an Internet cafe (except this present post). Hopefully I'll be back online next March. In the meantime, once my holidays begin at the end of December I hope to post something new and interesting.

Our big Buddha thangka

On the 26th of May, during the one week drubchen leading up to the anniversary of the Buddha's Birth, Enlightenment and Parinirvana on May 31st, a giant thangka made of parachute fabric was displayed.

Here comes the big snake:

It is customary to headbutt the snake to get a blessing, or alternatively, throw a kata on it. Pushing and shoving to get one's head in butting range is also customary.

This building is seven stories tall. We call it "The Seven-Story Building" togsa dunpa. The apparatus on top was built with this thangka in mind.

The wind made it look like the mast of a ship. The great ship of Lord Buddha.

Utilities?

Here at the nunnery there are two types of electricity: government light, from the Indian government, and generator light, from the nunnery generator. I live in the 'new building', which does not get government light. The reason for this seems to be some sort of bureaucratic issue which has prevented us from joining the local power grid. If you've spent anytime in India you may have an idea of the length of time it takes to solve these bureaucratic snarls. Our building has been standing for two years... and still not a flash of government light.

On a good day we get electricity from the generator for five whole hours. It comes from 5am to 7am and from 7pm to 10pm. That's when we really need it-- before sunrise and after sunset. Sometimes we don't get any electricity in the evening-- that was the case every evening last week. This week has been better, but each evening around seven we start to wonder if light will come or not. There is some hopefulness, but also a patient realism, "It may not come." We all have candles and flashlights at hand, should we be left in darkness. When we do get light, it is a pleasant surprise each time. We rejoice in our good fortune.

The system seems to be- if there is class the next day we usually have light that evening. If it is a Saturday evening we definitely don't get electricity because "It is a holiday, you don't need it." If there is puja the next day, only Buddha knows if light will come or not.

Electricity is necessary to pump water into the tank on the roof which supplies the bathrooms and showers on the three floors of our building. Mysteriously, although electricity doesn't come to the rooms during the day, water will nonetheless come at various times of day. At those times, unless we are in class, there is a mad rush of nuns carrying laundry, dishes and shower things in the direction of the washrooms. In about an hour the water gets used up, occasionally stranding some unlucky soap covered showerer. We've kept a few buckets full of water in our bathroom, which has thus far seen us through the periods without water. Not everyone is so prepared-- and the toilets can get rough indeed. I've also taken to keeping a bucket and a basin in my room to wash my dishes. When I'm done I just throw the water off the balcony-- which is the normal thing to do here. I've just got to make sure there is no one walking around on the ground below. I've splashed a few people by accident, and I've also been on the receiving end of a few dishwater showers.

So water and light come and go-- without a regular schedule--spontaneously. We could say it depends on our merit at any given time. I used to feel that this was a hard part about living in India, but now it is just the situation and not something to worry about. When I visit Canada it takes some time to get used to water always coming out of the tap whenever I turn it on (and even hot water-- wow) and being able to turn the light on in the middle of the night, when, yes indeed, there is light, even though most people are asleep and don't need it.

You might wonder, "Well why not run the generator all the time?" That'd be an idea, but it would be expensive... And these blessed chances to practice patience and abandon expectation are priceless.